Pilihan

Kata orang, life is all about chooses.

Bangun pagi milih mau bangun apa lanjut tidur, udah bangun terus milih mandi atau engga, udah telat trus bingung makan apa engga, habis itu bingung nyatok gak ya, terus mikir mending naik ojek apa mobil, dst.

Funny though, setiap masa depan kita ditentuin sama setiap pilihan kita bahkan dari hal-hal terkecil kaya gitu. Dan kalo salah pilihan kadang bisa fatal.

Hal itu juga berpengaruh ke hal-hal yang lebih besar. Ada saat-saat tertentu kita harus milih dan pilihannya sama-sama buruk. Satu sisi kita kepengen nyoba buat set things all right, but in other hand kita takut buat jatuh ke lubang yang sama. And sometimes, we're just being stupid, ignoring our conscious mind, even lied to our own self and say "calm, things won't go wrong". Dan disitu sih kesalahannya kadang he he.

So, i'm not sure but, i thought i'm in the middle of fall for the second times situation. Gak tau juga sih, mungkin emang akibat overthinking dan kebiasaan buruk #1 yaitu expecting more. Lucu sih emang, kita semua punya kebiasaan buat berharap sesuatu tinggi-tinggi dan saat ga tercapai bakalan kecewa sendiri. Padahal jelas-jelas mengharap kepada orang lain pasti gambling bgt, based on habit manusia nomor satu yaitu suka ga nepatin janji. 

Dan kemaren Raisya ngasi share-an kayak gini

Trus gue mikir, masa sih?

Dan saat gue cerita ke temen gue yang lain, dia berpendapat yang beda.

Dia percaya kalau "love won't hurt you, if love is hurting you than it is not love"

Pandangan yang berbeda tapi dua-duanya accepted.

Pilih yang mana deh.

[ditengah-tengah belajar rangkaian digital & kebimbangan]

#super #gak #jelas

Overthinking

[Such a waste activity that played by your tricky brain, could drained your energy and ruins your happiness. Leaves you a big hole in the heart, pain, dissapointment, and insecurities for a long period.]

.

.

.

.

.

SOSSSSS

please, i need fresh air and positive vibes. and good food, of course.

sincerely, me

the one who needed a rescue. from messy life.

Found My Way

[just a random story]

I have tasted failures. No, not just once, that thing repeatedly happened till I barely taste the pain. Feeling ignoranced and worthless. I was on my lowest situation.I do blaming myself, but the 'selfish-side' of myself win and end up blaming the situation more. So I always looking for the faults that maybe not really really there, or am I just trumped up the whole things.I always say to myself "you've done your best! it's not your fault, it's just the universe against you"

But then I realized, it's just only to cure the guiltyness inside me. More over, it didn't solve anything, and even make everything worsen. It's just only me, refused to accept the reality. 

No, I didn't do my very best.

I  didn't sacrifice my everything.

I still sputtered.

I didn't surrender all.

[Lesson learned.]

"surrender" is the keyword.

There came a reliefed feeling when I surrender all. I found peace. I'm feeling worthful.

Just like the fallen leafs blowing in the wind, I go anywhere fate took me. With just a tiny pinch of conviction that everything will go-just-fine.

Maybe everything wont go as what I planned to be (yes, still the hardest part), but it's only a matter of time for me to open my heart and see the rainbow through the rain.

For I know God has made me with a reason, with a mission; and it will never fail.

No regret, now i accept the reality.

Accepting the fact that I evidently wasn't born for the thing that I was "fight for". Thing that I've been dreamed of for my whole life. Thing that i thaught was destined for me. It wasn't easy. It takes time and sincerity, also willingness to throw far-far away your ego.
But, hey, moving on! A new fresh day will start tomorrow and I wont waste my time mourning and repining, for I know great things awaited for me to be revealed!

This is just a phase, called grown-up.

It may causes pain, but guaranteed the fruit will sweet.

Goodluck, for great things awaited for you to be revealed too!

Satu Indonesia - Mengenal Gubernur Ahok Lebih Dekat

Worth to watch.
Ahok is a real hero of Jakarta

[2016]

Been a long time, bloggy!

For almost 2 years (maybe) i turned off the public sharing of my blog. Yup, highschool and stuffs got me lazy to doing the posting things and so on. Also, i realized my posts are full of unnecessary things (yet emberassing, i guess..) about my life -read: alay. [and have been deleted ;D] 

Okay, many things have done and changed these years. Love, laughs, good friends, annoying friends, tears, goodbyes, love of a family, dissapointment, miracles, and also heartbreaks. In sum, i've learned a lot lot of things. But, no, i'm not gonna talking about all of those things cause they're all passed. But after all these major and irritating maturation things; I found God.

So, I just want to make it clear. I'm moving on, taking the chances, and won't regret a thing. 

Don't dream it, be it.

-The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

Don't pray for your life to be easy, but pray for yourself to be strong.

We have to understand that there are things that we just cannot have,

but we never have to be less of a person because of them.

Semerah Bunga di Padang Lincoln

Setiap hari kakiku melangkah,

Keluar dari gerobokan keretapi,

Bawah tanah,

Melalui jalan tar kusam,

Di tengah hiruk pikuk,

Manusia yang tiada arah,

Mencari kekayaan dunia,

Material pemuas nafsu.

Destinasiku tetap sama,

Maughan usang yang gah,

Berdiri berabad lamanya,

Menjadi saksi kepada kegilaan manusia,

Dulu, kini dan selamanya,

Tetap sama,

Manusia yang hilang arah,

Ibarat anak kehilangan ibunya.

Namun di tengah-tengah,

Terbentang Padang Lincoln menghijau,

Manusia dan anjing tiada bezanya,

Tidak berbaju,

Berseronok, berlari dan menikmati,

Sisa-sisa nikmat dunia,

Yang indah di jiwa,

Tenat menanti ubatnya.

Dalam kehanyutan manusia itu,

Tersergam sebatang pohon,

Bungaannya merah,

Lebat dan subur, Muda dan menyala,

Seperti tidak peduli dan mengerti,

Akan manusia alpa di sekeliling,

Ia terus berdiri menjadi saksi,

Patuh dan akur pada Tuhan.

Ah alangkah bagusnya!

Kalau aku bisa menjadi,

Sepertimu wahai pohon,

Yang tidak kenal apa itu angkuh!

Yang tidak tahu apa itu musuh!

Yang tidak erti apa itu cemuh!

Kau terus berdiri,

Memuji kebesaran tuhanmu.

Betapa hati ini,

Cinta dan rindu pada pohon,

Penyejuk mata pengubat hati,

Membalut luka keresahan,

Melihat manusia yang ingkar,

Pada Tuhan,

Yang lupa akan api bakaran,

Semerah bunga di Padang Lincoln.

-gabbana-

***

Puisi di atas diambil dari:

Enjel Wes Guci Blog - Semerah Bunga di Padang Lincoln

:)

"Something happen without reason. And there's no reason why I must love you."

via @anggiruth

Malam

Saat itu matahari sudah tertidur

Tergantikan oleh cahaya sang rembulan

Dingin menusuk rusuk

Membangunkan alam bawah sadar

Terenyuh tak kusangka malam sudah tiba

Saat dimana dunia terasa milik sendiri

Tak satupun di dunia ini

Sepi, sepi, sangat sepi

Jangkrik jangkrik saling bersahutan

Gemericik angin dan daun bersenggolan menggelitik telinga

Tegang tak terasa lagi

Seakan semua beban terhempas jauh jauh

Dilain tempat pada saat yang sama

Malam telah membangunkan sang metropolitan

Membuat dunia menjadi hingar bingar

Cahaya dari sang pencakar langit seakan menusuk mata

Tak disangka malam pun dapat mengakibatkan dosa

Pekerjaan tak semestinya dilakukan saat itu

Angin mencekam tak dipedulikan lagi

Uang lah yang dinantikan

Saatnya sang mentari terbangun

Semua itu terhenti

Tetapi malam akan datang lagi

Melanjutkan segala yang tertunda

-gm